god, i just feel so disgusting. So completely gross. Just so . . . . . . ugly. . . . .. . . . and shit.

http://www.canadianliving.com/health/nutrition/top_5_ways_to_boost_your_metabolism_naturally.php

This is a good article on weight-loss tips:

http://www.homemakers.com/homemakers/client/en/Home/DetailNews.asp?idNews=237025&pg=2

Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. 

I tried the Salt Water Flush, and it works. 
However, heating up the water, and drinking down 4 cups with 2 tablespoons of salt is definitely a form of torture. I eventually threw up a small amount. 

So, I've made a different kind of Salt Water Flush:

-2-4 cups of cold water
2 tablespoons of epsom salts, stir to dissolve
juice of 1/2 a lemon
as much stevia powder as you want

This one is actually bearable:) I'm still trying to figure out how to adjust it to work as well as the hot water version. 

Has anyone else tried the Salt Water Flush? How well did it work for you?

1. Get a workout
2. Enjoy a deep massage
3. Hang upside down! 
4. Smell something good (ie. roses, cinnamon, lavendar, peppermint)
5. Take an essential bath (chamomile, lavender, etc. .)
6.  Meditation
7. Drink tea
8. Lose yourself in Drama (ie. movie, a good book)
9. Listen to music
10. Sleep
11. Nature walks
12. Nibble on dark chocolate
13.  Hugs! 
14. Forgive someone
15. Stop eating meat
16. Drink some cold water
17. Go organic
18. Remember the "Serenity Prayer" , and focus on things you can change.
19. Think positively
20. Practice gratitude
21. Communicate with openness and clarity
22. Keep a journal and write down your concerns and worries - -- and then leave them. 
23. Laughter is the best medicine. 
24. Smile more. 
25. Carve out personal time every day. 
26. Establish a strong support system with friends and/or family. 
27. Dance!
28. avoid caffeine
29. eat a piece of steamed vegetable 
30. Talk to a therapist, or counselor
31. Write down your thoughts
32. Accept yourself as you are right now, even if you need to change. 
33. SET LIMITS! If you can't do something, tell your family or your friends. Communicate your boundaries to them.

I can only be honest with myself, even though it hurts. Because sometimes, the truth hurts, but its still the truth. And i can't live a lie. That would be the only thing worse than my reality. Right now, I have no true friends, no one knows the real me, and i know if they did, they would hate me. I'm not adequate as a person; I'm less than adequate.

 Ok, so my brother did give me his birthday gift after all. It was nice. And his card was cute. . . . it said "If I had to go halfsies, I'm glad it was with you." And it had 2 little kids on the front sharing a popsickle. . . . . . i guess he's an okay brother . . . :)

Im tired of trying to live up to other people's expectations of who I should be. I need to just do this for myself.

 I'm really pissed off at my older brother right now, 

. . . because he's always too busy for anything important in my life. . . . he showed up half an hour late for my birthday lunch with my family. . . basically spent the whole time talking about how he couldn't wait to get back to his friends. . . . . and he just doesn't make an effort to do "family things" anymore. . . . like I don't blame him, but like, he shouldn't expect me to just act like everything is okay, when it isn't. 

So, when he told me he was giving me a gift on my birthday, i told him I didn't want it. 

He was mad, but I don't accept gifts from strangers. . . . and he's definitely a stranger to me right now. 

Am I being too harsh???  

I mean, he bought me this gift basket full of like, spa scrubs, and bubble bath, and nice things. . . . and I would definitely appreciate a gift like that. . . . 


But his gifts cannot replace his time. . . . . and I'm sick of making excuses for him!!!!

 . . . i'm getting older. I'm 19 today. . . its official. I miss being 18 already.  

Weirdly enough, I got an e-mail from my grandma yesterday, and she wrote me a birthday poem. It was a little weird, but at the end it basically said "Don't give up" . . . and I was strangely encouraged, because I've been very suicidal this past week. 

But today I'm on 300 calories. 

i didn't lose today.

 this is everything i ate:

2 Tbsp. granola (BAD BAD BAD)
energy bar
1 1/2 cups juice
gum (with Xylitol instead of aspartame . . . better for u)
Emergen-C Vitamin C powder
 
Total = 514

Calories left = 286

I'm on my 800 day. . . 
I drank at least 8 cups of water, and 1 cup of tea.
 
But! I bought a little black book to write out all my daily calories, my weight, and exercise, etc. etc. 
as well as any tips i learn. 
So that's exciting. i've never had one before. 

how is everyone this evening?

Does anyone know how to upload pictures to my scrapbook?  I tried and it didn't work.

So, anyways, I was at the store today, . . . . and just out of curiousity, I checked the label on a container of double-chocolate muffins. . . . . I thought, maybe I could eat one on my 800 day or something. . . . as it turns out . . . 

they each had 510 calories!!!! 

I mean, . . . . seriously!!! Who eats like that?? I mean, outside of a binge, can you imagine how many calories "normal people" eat in a day??/?


Needless to say, I put them back, and picked up a more reasonable alternative , weight watchers snack cakes which are 90 cals.

Current Mood: cynical

Hey, 

There's a new book out called "The Little Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets" or something . . . . 

They have a chapter on Diet tips. 

here are a few:

- Vitamin C helps you burn more fat

- 1 ounce of almonds a day can help you burn fat (because they contain monounsaturated fat, which actually blocks fat absorption)

- there is this one drug that's for sore throats, they mentioned its called the "Z pac" or something . . . anyways, you lose all hunger, and you don't eat for days or even weeks . . . but you have to fake a sore throat to get a prescription for it     :S

- Staying warm fights . . . toxins or something. . . they said that you actually burn more fat when you're warm. . . I forget exactly

- African Red Tea is good  for something

- when you're at a luncheon, buffet, event, etc. . and there are ors' douerves  (spelling?) if you suck on a menthol - flavored throat lozenge for sore throats, it keeps your mouth busy for at least 30 minutes, and you can't eat when you're sucking on something. . . and they're only 25 calories. . . it can be like an excuse when people offer you food .. . . ."I have a sore throat, so I need to finish this throat lozenge first" . . . and by the time you're done . . . the food is all gone . . . or something like that. 

- in the morning, if you drink hot water, with lemon juice and apple cider vinegar, it will help you lose weight

- if you are craving sugar, its best to eat cherry tomatoes, because they curb a sugar binge, and they kill yeast which causes MAJOR sugar cravings

- sometimes it does help to eat what you are craving, in order to avoid a major binge later on (eg. Weight Watchers Chocolate Cake . . . 5 grams of fiber, and 90 calories each. . . if you are craving chocolate. . . it allows you to control your eating, so you don't over-eat. 

- colonics are a major fad with celebrities, because it cleans out your large intestine, helping you go to the bathroom easier, and gets rid of excess waste (you know what I mean) which can actually weigh up to 5-7 pounds!!! Anyways, I got a few, and you do lose weight . . . it costs like $75.00 for one colonic . . . if you google "Colon Hydrotherapy" it will tell you all about it.

Current Mood: determined

My 200 day

1 rice cake                                                             =   35 calories
1 fruit/vegetable smoothie                                  = 75 calories
1 Weight Watchers chocolate cake                   =  90 calories

Total:      200 calories


So today is my 200 day. I did pretty good, considering this is probably the lowest amount of calories I've eaten so far. 

I went grocery shopping today. Got all healthy stuff:

- papaya
- canteloup
- apples
                         - vitamin C
                         - multi-vitamin
                         - digestive enzymes
                         - laxative tea
                         - stevia powder
- V8 juice
- weight watchers cakes (I slipped up here) . . they are 90 calories each
- freezies
-shrimp
- garden salad
- rice cakes
- cranberries


As you can see ( I really went grocery shopping) . . . but most of those foods are negative calories.

Current Mood: gloomy

"Hugging trees has a calming effect on me. I'm talking about enormous trees that will be there when we are all dead and gone. I've hugged trees in every part of this little island. "
~Gerry Adams, Sinn Fein President

 

"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When our mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers...Mindfulness relieves suffering because it is filled with understanding and compassion." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

So, today, I started the 2,4,6,8 calorie cycle. 

I decided to start with 800 calories today, because I want to help my body get used to this.

This is what I have eaten:

1 cup low-fat yogurt  =  200 calories
1 cup V8 juice  = 50 calories
3 egg whites  = 45 calories
1 banana  = 100 calories
1 apple = 100 calories

Approximately :    500 calories so far,  but the apple was a negative calorie food. 

I can feel my body is encouraged by my healthy eating choice. I have stopped eating bread, cereal, grains, all together. I can't eat those things if I want to lose weight . . . I think . . . . I might eat some . . . if I have to. But only flat bread without yeast.
I almost ate some coconut, but I spit it back out, because the shredded coconut I bought at the store had sulphites in it, and sulphites are supposedly going to make you bloated, and fat. or something like that. 

I want to buy the book "Skinny Bitch" . . . however, . . . I ordered some power pops online, that had hoodia in them, and they haven't come in the mail yet . . . . so I'm a little bit annoyed.

Current Mood: stressed

i don't care what people say. 
i believe in myself.
i can do this.
i am beautiful. 
so there. 

lol! :)

Current Mood: bitchy

2, 4, 6, 8

my rules:

only food allowed:

• fruit

• vegetables

• smoothies

• egg whites

• fish & seafood

• small amounts of coconut oil for cooking

• pure cocoa powder (without sugar)

• green antioxidant powder drink

• fruit antioxidant drink

Non-food items allowed:

• herbal supplements (black cohosh, herbal cleanse, etc. )

• laxatives

• diuretics (tea, pills)

• vital greens drink

• tea

• vitamins

• spices & herbs

• stevia to sweeten things (0 cals)

• fiber powder (in a pinch, it helps you feel full)

• digestive enzymes

• acidophilus pills (to kill yeast, aid in digestion, healthy bacteria)

• omega 3679

must:

• drink at least 10 glasses of water a day

• exercise at least 1 hour a day

• take 1 200mg 5-htp each night before bed, on an EMPTY stomach

   

Additional Rules:

1. Negative Calorie Foods count as 0 cals.

2. Must drink at least 1-2 glasses of water before eating anything

3. Vitamins/green drinks are priority BEFORE food

4. I MUST take my medication on time every day at:

   9:00 am

   3:00 pm

5. Tea can be drunk instead of water

6. Count your calories each day to make sure you are safe !

7. Weigh yourself only once a day, every morning

8. Write goals, and think positive affirmative thoughts about your goals

9. No worrying . . . . . . . . . . (I'm scared crapless right now. . . never done this before. . . . but I know I won't lose weight if I don't, so I'm going to.

If anyone has any tips or advice, please share!!!

Current Mood: i can't live in this body